Why I Turned Into An Atheist?

For a very long time, I lived in a world that was driven by a single and undisputed narrative – God exists and is watching all of us. I was a child who never questioned anything, even though it made the least sense in the world that I am living. But as the years passed and my frontal lobe started to develop, I began to ask questions I was taught to ignore. In doing so, I stepped outside the shackles of beliefs that were holding me, and in the eyes of the society and “my dear family” that raised me, I slowly became the bad guy.

As a young boy, I was captivated by the divine God and loved them very dearly. My love was till that point that I used to draw them whenever I got a chance. My parents used to buy me stacks of drawing paper, and I would spend hours drawing and sketching those Gods and Goddesses. Whether it be the fierce form of Durga, or the serene beauty of Laxmi, or the charming Krishna, or Vishnu, who stood on the beautiful lotus. I was a soft-spoken, obedient child, so much so that everyone often compared me to Siddhartha Gautam, and said my character matches the name that I am given.

Faith was not just a concept, it was a part of my lifestyle. I believed with an innocent and unshakeable certainty that God was actively watching over me. I found immense comfort in helping my mom and grandmother perform puja or some holy rituals. I used to love making colorful mandalas during Tihar, visiting pandals during Dashain, decorating Christmas trees, and joining in family pujas. Whenever the world around me felt heavy, I used faith as my energy booster. Whenever my parents used to fight, or there was a serious loud discussion in the family, I would press my palms over my ears and whisper divine names like a protective spell until the silence returned. The ancient epics of the Ramayana and Mahabharata were not just stories to me, but they were the holy bedrock of my universe.

As I entered my teenage years, the time when many people usually turn away from God, I was instead deepened in devotion. I carefully cut out images of Ram, Lakshman, Sita, and Hanuman, and taped it inside my school geometry box. I used to wear a Rudraksha and a Ganesh bracelet that I had since I was very young. One of my biggest fears during those days, were the storms – sky rumbling in violent noise, and wind so powerful enough to blow roofs. Whenever that fear triggered me, I used to call my parents in the office and ask them to return home as fast as they could. They handed me a small book of Hanuman Chalisa, saying that reading it would ward off all my fears. To this day, I can still recite Hanuman Chalisa, as well as other mantras like Gayatri Mantra, Ganesh Mantra, and the main verse of Bhagavad Gita. I also enjoyed singing Krishna bhajans with my mom’s friend, while she played piano.

My affection for the divine God was not just exclusive to my religion, as I respected the faith of other religions too even before I fully understood it. I used to love Bible stories, loved how Jesus was a loving and kind being, celebrating Christmas, decorating the tree, and singing Christmas carols with pure joy. Even if my family used to be upset with me for singing the praise of Jesus, I would still say I love Jesus.

Then, at the age of thirteen, a TV show widened my view on Islam. Before, I have never tried to learn about Islam, but after this TV show started, I was fascinated by it. I started learning Islamic Kalmas and Urdu vocabularies, and even learned how to pray like Muslims do – face towards Mecca, hand placements, face movements. Even during my exams, I used to pray in both Hindu and Muslim style, and that continued for a few years. Years later, when I walked into the historic Jama Masjid in Delhi, and bowed my head in prayer, I felt a deep, undeniable sense of spiritual fulfillment.

Yet, beneath this rich tapestry of devotion, quiet cracks had existed from the beginning. Even as a child, certain religious norms felt deeply contradictory. How could a culture that revered powerful goddesses like Durga, Kali, Laxmi, and Parvati simultaneously subjugate women and label them weak? How could people justify ritual animal sacrifice in the name of a compassionate deity? The systemic cruelty of the caste system repulsed me, as did the exclusion of dogs from temple grounds, while the very same animals we worshipped during Kukur Tihar as the sacred mounts of Kaal Bhairav.

For a long time, Kaal Bhairav was my Istadev. Passing his shrine at Basantapur, I would stop to recite the Kaal Bhairav Ashtakam with quiet awe. I drew strength from the fierce, untamed manifestations of the divine Bhairav, Mahakali, and Durga, whose terrifying forms felt far more empowering than gentle deities. I loved the legends of Lord Ganesh, and one of my persistent childhood dreams was to travel to Mumbai to experience the grand scale of Ganesh Chaturthi.

However, the shift did not happen overnight; it began with a single, uninvited thought late at night… “What if none of this is real?"

The thread began to unravel when I looked closer at the stories I had cherished. Taken literally, the narrative of Noah’s Ark, such as fitting millions of animal species onto a single wooden vessel to survive a global flood defied every law of biology, ecology, and physics. Once that domino fell, the rest followed in rapid succession. I began to view the parting of the Red Sea, the splitting of the moon, Hanuman carrying an entire Himalayan mountain across the subcontinent, and the birth of a hundred Kauravas from a single mass of flesh for what they truly were: grand, legendary folklore. While these stories contained moral metaphors, they had no grounding in physical reality.

I do not necessarily doubt that historical figures like Jesus, the Buddha, or Muhammad walked the earth. What I could no longer accept were the supernatural claims attached to them such as turning water into wine, floating across oceans, or altering the cosmos. Science has unearthed concrete, physical evidence of dinosaurs and prehistoric organisms that lived millions of years ago, persisting through mass extinctions. Yet, there is not a single shred of empirical evidence for a global flood forty five hundred years ago or the world-shattering weaponry of the Mahabharata.

Furthermore, creation myths clashed directly with verifiable science. Religions claimed the universe was spoken into existence in a few days or crafted by a singular parent like Brahma. They placed Adam and Eve at the starting line of humanity, entirely omitting the proven history of biological evolution. The rigid framework of Hindu yugas claimed that Ram lived in Treta Yuga and Krishna in Dvapara Yuga millions of years ago, yet the geological record shows no human civilizations alongside the ancient reptiles that actually ruled those epochs.

The logical breakdowns were even more devastating than the scientific ones. Believers often describe God as an all-powerful, all-loving father who shields the innocent. If that is true, why is the human experience defined by unspeakable suffering? The common theological defense that suffering is merely the harvest of bad karma from a past life felt morally bankrupt to me. I could never accept that an innocent child subjected to violence or abuse was paying off an unproven debt from a forgotten past existence. I could not believe that animals, entirely devoid of malice, were suffering due to divine curses.

If an ordinary human stood by and watched a crime occur without intervening despite having the absolute power to stop it, we would brand that person a monster. Why, then, do we excuse a deity who sits idly by while the innocent perish, only to promise punishment in some distant afterlife? If God possesses total power yet refuses to prevent horror, then that entity is neither all-good nor all-powerful. And the argument of "free will" falls apart the moment we consider prayer. If God cannot interfere with human agency, why do billions spend their lives begging God to intervene in their daily affairs?

Looking back at my own life, the illusion shattered entirely. My academic successes were not answered prayers; they were the direct result of late nights and discipline. When my exams went poorly, it was because I had failed to prepare, not because a deity was displeased. When I desperately prayed for my family to stay together, my parents still divorced. I realized that asking my human parents for help yielded tangible results, while crying out to the sky daddy brought only silence.

In my lowest moments, no divine hand reached down to pull me up. I dried my own tears. I pulled myself out of the dark. I survived, I failed, I fought, and succeeded through my own endurance and hard work. The Hanuman Chalisa had not cured my fear of storms, an even more powerful disaster than the storm, made me immune to it. People say God works in mysterious ways, but I never saw the pattern on how they work.

Today, I view religion for what it largely is, a psychological coping mechanism, and an ancient system of peer pressure passed down through generations of unquestioned habit. I have stopped performing rituals simply because they are traditional, and celebrating festivals that are regressive and make no sense at all. I no longer wear the tika or visit temples expecting a favor from the sky. I tore up my kundali, sick of watching astrologers offer conflicting predictions that caused real-world distress. I no longer believe in reincarnation, an afterlife, or cosmic fate. I believe in action, consequence, and human responsibility.

Now, I am the bad guy as people say – they believe the internet and being too “woke” has corrupted my thinking abilities. Ironically, shedding my faith has exposed the deep performative nature of religion around me. I routinely see self-proclaimed religious people treat their fellow human beings and animals with absolute cruelty, hiding behind ritual purity while ignoring basic empathy. Yet, because I choose to think critically, refuse regressive traditions, and demand evidence, society labels me as "corrupted" or "lost."

If using my reason to question an unproven divine power makes me the bad guy, I accept the title willingly. I do not seek to insult the faith of others, but I will no longer stay silent in the face of illogical, harmful dogmas. Even if a real supreme being were to manifest before me today and demand my devotion, I would refuse to bow. A deity that watches a world of suffering from a safe distance does not deserve worship. As an anonymous prisoner carved into a wooden wall during the horrors of the Holocaust: "If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness.”

My Honest Opinion on Kyuki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2

Picture Credit: Rediff.com

If you grew up in the 2000s, you are no stranger to the iconic Hindi soap opera Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi (KSBKBT). The show was immensely popular during its run, breaking multiple records, turning its actors and characters into household names, and even sparking protests when the main character was killed off. KSBKBT premiered in 2000 and was produced by Ekta Kapoor under her banner, Balaji Telefilms.

The show brought a wave of change to Indian television, which until then followed very different formats. It was both praised and criticized. On one hand, it united families at the dinner table, imparting Indian values and presenting gripping stories considered revolutionary for that era. On the other hand, it often reinforced regressive mindsets about women’s roles, highlighted negativity and household conflicts, and introduced highly illogical storylines.

Regardless, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi is still celebrated as one of the biggest shows in Indian television history. Characters like Tulsi, Mihir, Baa, Tripti, Mandira, Gautam, Ansh, Karan, and Nandini remain iconic to this day.

The show ended in 2008 due to declining TRPs, but its legacy remains unmatched. Now, after 17 years, it has made a comeback in 2025 with a second season, bringing back fan-favorites Tulsi and Mihir, portrayed once again by Smriti Irani and Amar Upadhyay. Other returning actors include Kamalika Guha Thakurta as Gayatri, Ketaki Dave as Daksha, Hiten Tejwani as Karan, Gauri Pradhan Tejwani as Nandini, Ritu Chaudhary as Shobha, and Shakti Anand as Hemant. The new generation of the cast includes Rohit Suchanti as Angad, Aman Gandhi as Hrithik, Shagun Sharma as Pari, Tanisha Mehta as Vrinda, Barkha Bisht as Noina, among others.

According to producer Ekta Kapoor, the sequel is designed to be a finite series, avoiding unnecessary dragging and focusing on real social issues rather than chasing TRPs with melodrama. Still, given the history of Indian television, it remains to be seen whether this promise holds.

The Story So Far:

Season 2 now revolves around Tulsi and Mihir raising their three adopted children—Angad, Pari, and Hrithik (the kids of Tulsi’s sister Kesar)—while also managing the Virani household, Shanti Niketan. The show opened strongly, launching with a rating of 2.5 and competing neck-to-neck with another popular show, Anupama. It has consistently maintained a position in the top five since its premiere.

My Opinion:

Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi was an interesting show. Although I don’t remember much of its original run (as I was just a kid), I do recall how popular it was. Much like today’s debates about being Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah, or Team Paxton or Team Ben, people once argued about whether Tulsi would expose Mandira, if Mihir would return from the dead, or who killed Savita. That kind of frenzy is hard to recreate today, as younger audiences, shaped by OTT platforms and international shows, are less interested in dramatic serials filled with repetitive scenes, multiple transitions, and loud background music.

I began watching the reboot because of the hype, and honestly, the first few episodes didn’t disappoint. The production quality was strong, the acting solid, and the story intriguing. But as episodes progressed, the plot began losing balance, with too many subplots introduced at once.

Having multiple storylines is not inherently a problem—in fact, it can enrich a show if done well. A great example is Ekta Kapoor’s Pavitra Rishta. While it centered on Manav and Archana, it also wove in side plots—Varsha and Satish’s marriage, Savita and Sulochana’s fights, Manjusha’s schemes, Dharmesh’s plans, DK and Aasna’s family, Arjun-Purvi-Ovi’s triangle, and Soham’s arc. Every subplot ultimately tied back to the main couple, creating balance.

In contrast, KSBKBT 2 struggles with this balance. While Tulsi and Mihir’s marriage and children are central, the side plots feel disconnected. Noina’s one-sided love for Mihir, Angad and Vrinda’s romance, Pari’s endless schemes, Hrithik and Munni’s secret love story, Gayatri brainwashing Hemant, and Karan-Nandini’s marital issues all feel unevenly executed. Angad and Vrinda, supposedly a key couple, appear only once every few episodes with minimal screen time. Hrithik and Munni fare even worse. Nandini’s story is told solely from her perspective since Karan is rarely shown—likely due to Hiten Tejwani’s other commitments. And Gayatri’s scheming against Hemant seems illogical.

The show has largely centered around Pari, focusing on her affair with Ranvijay, her marriage to Ajay, and her manipulative schemes. This has made her character unlikeable and overshadowed other arcs. Moreover, the plot itself is shaky: Pari marries Ajay from a conservative family to prove she’s moved on from Ranvijay, but continues meeting Ranvijay secretly for money. Whenever Tulsi or Nandini confronts her, she resorts to the same tired argument about not being Tulsi’s real daughter.

Meanwhile, Noina is portrayed as Mihir’s college friend who secretly loves him but doesn’t want to break his marriage. Mihir, however, is shown as arrogant and dismissive—constantly blaming Tulsi for Pari’s behavior, confusing Noina with mixed signals, and making decisions without others’ consent (like arranging Noina’s marriage to Vikram or forcing Pari’s marriage to Ajay). He even treats Angad and Hrithik harshly. Has Mihir always been this way, or is this just how the writers imagine him at this age?

Speaking of age, the timeline is hilariously confusing. The original show spanned eight years with multiple leaps, covering nearly 51 years in-story. Adding the 17-year gap, Mihir and Tulsi should technically be about 95 years old—but they look no older than 50. Pari is shown as 24, even though her parents would be nearing a century. By that logic, Daksha and Gayatri should be around 120!

Of course, looking for logic in a soap opera is a losing battle. Leaving that aside, the show is still somewhat entertaining, though uneven. Fans have also criticized the frequent use of Smriti Irani’s body double despite her reported fee of 14 lakhs per episode. Since it marks her return to acting after years in politics, her performance sometimes feels exaggerated, as does Rohit Suchanti’s as Angad. On the brighter side, Gauri Pradhan Tejwani and Barkha Bisht are excellent, while Tanisha Mehta impresses in her debut with her natural Marathi flair—she even reminds me of Purvi from Pavitra Rishta. However, Mehta and Suchanti’s chemistry needs more screen time to truly shine.

These are my impressions of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2. The show has potential and has already made a mark with its strong opening, but whether it can recapture the magic of the original—or sustain balanced storytelling—remains to be seen.

10 Characters that I Hate in “Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye”

During my early teenage years, I used to watch a lot of Hindi TV dramas, and they used to be so entertaining. My entire teenager years were spent watching shows like Yahaan Main Ghar Ghar Kheli, Pavitra Rishta, Kumkum Bhagya, Diya Aur Baati Hum, Madhubala, Jodha Akbar, Ek Hasina Thi, Qubool Hai, and so on. However, in 2019, I stopped watching them because of university and the influence of foreign language shows that had a much better and intriguing plot.

One of my favourite TV shows during that time was Kumkum Bhagya, and I absolutely adored Sriti Jha and Shabbir Ahluwalia as Pragya and Abhi respectively. These two actors had such a great chemistry that I never used to get bored wherever their scenes are on. Like this, Sriti Jha became one of my favourite actresses on Indian television. After she left Kumkum Bhagya, it was announced that she would be starring in a new drama called “Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye” for Zee TV. Arjit Taneja, who played Purab in Kumkum Bhagya, was cast opposite her in the show, and I was so excited to see them on screen again.

Likewise, I started watching Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye, which started airing in November, 2023. The show is about Amruta Chitnis (Sriti Jha), a 29 year old small town girl from Mumbai, independent, brave, and someone who loves her family a lot. She meets Virat Singh Ahuja (Arjit Taneja), a rich and hardworking brat from New Delhi, with a past tragedy of his own. During the series of events, they meet, turn into enemies, become friends, and again due to a misunderstanding have a rift, and like this the story moves ahead.

Since I had completely stopped watching Indian TV shows after 2019, it was difficult for me to watch this show. The reason being that Indian TV shows have a lot of illogical and filler scenes that add nothing to the story, and Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye wasn’t anything different. There are some scenes that I skip completely and the 20 minute long episodes shorten down to usually 15 minutes or so.

Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye is interesting because most of the time the story takes unexpected turns, which keeps me glued to the show. However, the character development is very bad in the show, whether it be main characters or supporting characters. Even the protagonists like Amruta and her mother Bhavani, are overdone with their righteousness. This makes the viewers get confused with which character they should be rooting for and who is actually worth supporting.

Today, I will be listing down the top 10 characters from Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye that I hate the most. It is solely a personal listing.

10. Dildar Ahuja (played by Aashish Kaul)

Dildar is probably one of the most loved characters in the show as he is always seen supporting Amruta and Virat in doing the right thing. Even though he is rich, he is humble and down to earth because once he was a middle class man just like Amrita's family, so he understands them. He is smart and is well aware of everything wrong that Babita or anyone is doing, but never has the guts to speak against them. This makes him a very weak person even though he is a pure soul.

9. Ishika (played by Deeksha Sonalkar)

During the early phase of the show, Ishika was introduced as the main antagonist. She has an extra marital affair with Amruta’s father, Jayesh, and leaves no stones unturned to torture Amruta and Bhavani. This makes it enough for me to hate her as sometimes I wonder what she gets by insulting and humiliating the mother-daughter duo time and again. Also, how is it possible that the entire neighbourhood keeps on supporting her after knowing that she is the reason why Jayesh left Bhavani, and gets brainwashed by her so easily.

8. Deepika (played by Rajeshwari Datta)

The character of Deepika doesn’t play a major role in the story as she is only there for comic relief. The actress is really good but it feels like her overacting is overdone. Also, she is one of the most confusing characters in the show because she often humiliates Amruta and her family, but also supports them for no apparent reason. I understand that she is too naive and bends wherever the wind takes her but Deepika doesn’t have a firm ground on whose side she is, which makes her one of my hatest characters in the show.

7. Priyanka Bajwa (played by Pratiksha Honmukhe)

Even though her character was absent at the beginning of the show, her arrival was teased since then. Nevertheless, she made an entry after about six months of the show, and brought a whole new drama to the table. In the beginning, her story looked interesting as she was shown as a greedy person who can do anything for money. Yet the puzzling part is that she left Virat with her own will and now wants to get back with him although she keeps on saying that she is just doing it for money that is supplied by Babita. Why does she want to get closer to Virat if he was never her target? But the actress who plays Priyanka needs to be showered with praises because she has played that role very perfectly.

6. Virat Singh Ahuja (played by Arjit Taneja)

The main protagonist of the show, Virat Singh Ahuja, is one of the dumbest characters that I have ever seen on television. Just like his father, Dildar, he is aware of every wrong thing that his family is doing towards the middle class people, yet he never has the guts to tell them anything, not even to his younger sister, Nimrit (Nimmi). He cannot use the brain of his own and is only after proofs, which makes it very annoying. Being a hyper head, he tortures Amruta and threatens her family, even up to marrying her forcibly. So how can I like such a character even though he is the male lead?

5. Kavita (played by Trishna Vivek)

When Kavita’s character made an entry, I expected her to be a bomb, but ended up being sidelined and a sidekick of Babita. She obviously hates Babita but doesn’t show that to her, and has her own secret motive, but what? It has been a long time since she made an entry with her son Abhiraaj, but they did absolutely nothing big. At this point, her only role is to nag everyone in the house saying how horrible Amruta is, but herself is of no use. Abhiraaj disappeared mid-season and she doesn’t even care that her son has gone away. Kavita can be a perfect example of a very poorly written character.

4. Bebe (played by Daljeet Soundh)

Daljeet Soundh was one of the most beloved dadi (grandmother) of Indian television because of her roles in Kumkum Bhagya and Guddan Tumse Na Ho Payega. However, her character in Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye is as evil as anyone could imagine. She loves her daughter, Babita, very much but keeps on supporting all her wrongdoings. Being the matriarch of the family, she should see what is right and what is wrong, but the writers decided to completely mess her character up, turning her into an ungrateful and whiny old lady. She wants Amruta to cook for her, also appreciates her cooking skills, but also plots with Babita to kick Amruta out of Virat’s life. It is too confusing to think where her character actually stands. Are we supposed to forgive her because she is an old lady?

3. Jayesh Chitnis (played by Iqbal Azad)

Jayesh is the father of Amruta and her brother Harsh. He was married to Bhavani but secretly had an affair with Ishika. He left his entire family on the streets just to live with Ishika. On their wedding day, he found out the truth about Ishika that she is not a good person, but still married her. On one hand, he says that he doesn’t want to keep any connection with Amruta, but again taunts her saying things against Bhavani. He has proved to be a very bad father, and I think that is enough for me to hate him.

2. Babita Ahuja (played by Kishori Shahane)

Babita is someone who never sees wrong in her. She claims to love Virat and Nimrit equally, but is always seen favouring Virat more. She makes Nimrit marry Rajeev, who was exposed as having an affair with someone else. She spoiled her daughter’s life even after knowing that Rajeev tortures Nimrit everyday, beating her, and her scars are clearly visible. She makes Nimrit stay in a toxic marriage. She also manipulates Virat against Amruta. She brings back Priyanka into Virat’s life knowing how much Virat hates her. Even after she is exposed, she doesn’t feel guilty of her doings and instead blames Amruta for separating her with her son. Truly, what a horrible person she is.

1. Rajeev Shekhawat (played by Bhavya Shinde)

If there is anyone who is more evil than Babita, then it must be Rajeev. He made Nimrit fall in love with him, used her insecurities to keep her trapped with him, manipulated her into believing that he will never cheat on her, and even sold her to some men for money. After his truth was revealed by Amruta, he tried to blame her and make her the wrong person. If there is a devil in disguise, then it must be Rajeev. Every scene with him on screen was intolerable.

Hence, these are the top 10 characters in Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gaye that I hate the most. The show will soon complete 300 episodes and let's see what other characters we get in the future. Whatever it be, I hope the writers write the characters well and not only focus on Amruta, Bhavani and Virat.

PS: I know that some pictures of the actors I have added are not the characters they played in this show, but in other shows.

My Experience Working as an Intern

For the past three years, I’ve done some freelancing here and there. I teamed up with a friend to start our own website and also did content writing for boutiques and restaurants. However, I had never been an intern before, and my college evaluation required a 45-day internship. I was both excited and nervous since it would be my first time working in a full-time job setting.

As a fashion design student with a background in IT engineering, I’m deeply passionate about fashion and plan to build my career in that field. For the first three days of my internship, I worked at a boutique. I thought it would be fun, but I quickly realized that it wasn’t for me. While I love fashion, I’ve always disliked stitching garments—a task I’ve avoided even in college by skipping construction classes. Although I enjoy pattern making and guiding seamstresses, sitting at a sewing machine, working with needles and fabrics, is not my thing. As a result, I quit that internship after just three days.

During those three days, I felt so miserable that even my mom encouraged me to quit if it was affecting me so badly. She called the boutique to explain how much I was struggling. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to stitch, but the techniques were beyond my experience. The seamstresses were highly skilled, knowing how to use different stitching methods, sew curves, iron fabrics without burning them, and cut fabrics without chalk markings. Meanwhile, I struggled to stitch without inserting ball pins into the fabric and often had to undo my work. While at the boutique, I sent my CV to several major fashion brands in Nepal.

One of my friends was interning at one of those brands, and she raved about the positive work environment. I had heard of the brand as well, as many of my friends are customers, and I admired their aesthetics on social media. They’re a streetwear brand with a cool online presence. I asked my friend if they were still accepting interns, and she said yes. I was called in for an interview, and after a few days of waiting, I received a message on Instagram inviting me to join their graphic design team. I was thrilled!

Since I have an IT background, I’m comfortable with computers and graphics. In fact, from a young age, I could use computers proficiently, which was uncommon for kids of my generation. Graphic design is something I genuinely enjoy—I’ve always loved taking pictures, editing them, and even Photoshopping myself into other images. I also do digital illustrations, so graphics is something I’m truly passionate about.

When I joined the company, I spent the first two weeks learning about their aesthetics. My colleague, the head graphic designer, was incredibly helpful. Even though he’s younger than me, he’s more experienced and talented, and he taught me a lot without hesitation. Within a few weeks, I was designing posters, creating graffiti, using motion blurs, color grading, removing backgrounds, adding shadows, and more. Plus, five of my classmates were also interning in the same office, making it easy for me to adapt to the environment.

At the end of the second week, the owner’s wife asked if I wanted to join the company as a graphic designer. Without hesitation, I said no because I didn’t want to be stuck doing graphics for the rest of my life. My passion lies in fashion, and that’s where I want to focus my career. I understand that fashion involves graphics—like printing on t-shirts and creating motifs—but I wasn’t interested in creating the type of prints this brand wanted for their products. I had a clear mindset from the beginning: I didn’t want to work under anyone unless it was for an international brand like Louis Vuitton, Burberry, or Calvin Klein. I explained that I couldn’t join because I was freelancing, although that wasn’t the real reason. Additionally, my college schedule is chaotic, so maintaining consistency in a regular job would be difficult.

One of my friends was in the room when I was asked about the job, and the next day, she loudly announced to everyone in the office that I had rejected a job offer from the brand. She also spread the word around our college. For me, it wasn’t a big deal at all—these things happen. I often get job offers that I decline because they don’t align with my interests. But my friend made such a big deal out of it that everyone started thinking it was a huge issue that I had turned down a job offer from a well-known brand. In reality, it wasn’t even an offer—they just asked if I was interested, without any formal discussion. So, I never took it seriously and didn’t think about it again until my friend brought it up.

In the third week, the owner’s wife approached me and said, “I heard that you rejected my job offer. The thing is, it wasn’t even a job offer—I was just asking. If I had actually offered you a job, we would have discussed the salary and schedule. There’s no place for liars here, so be careful with what you say.” I was stunned by her words. Before I could explain that I hadn’t said anything like that to anyone, she interrupted me and left the room. She didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself. As I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t a big deal to me, and I hadn’t given it a second thought. But after that conversation, my whole day was ruined, and so was my enthusiasm for the internship. I was angry at my friend for unnecessarily making a fuss and at the owner’s wife for not letting me explain. She was so convinced by what she heard that it frustrated me to the point where I lost all interest in working there.

For the remainder of the internship, I was indifferent about going to work. I’m a sensitive person, and I hate it when people change their tone with me, especially when I’ve done nothing wrong. I felt wrongly accused of something I didn’t say, and that incident changed my perspective of the brand, particularly the owners, who showed little respect for their employees. In fact, the owner’s wife spoke to everyone in that manner. Once, I overheard her on the phone saying, “Don’t you have a brain?” and “Are you a child who complains like this?” Running a business can be stressful, and you have to deal with all kinds of people, but those are not things you should say to anyone.

The brand’s actual owner is also a very rude person. He never appreciates the work done by his employees, and when I dug a little deeper, I discovered they aren’t paid well either. They aren’t given basic incentives like lunch or travel allowances, which I found unfair. He doesn’t have a clear vision for improving the brand’s reputation and instead focuses on bad-mouthing other streetwear brands. He wants the marketing, editing, photography, and videography to be done exactly like other brands, rather than trying something new. He insults employees behind their backs and acts as if he’s the only one working. In my 45 days there, it was surprising how rarely I saw him smile or speak kindly to employees. His expression was always grumpy, and every time he entered the office, it created a dark and fearful atmosphere.

In the past, I had heard various controversies surrounding the brand and thought they might be misunderstandings. However, after working there, I realized the issues were within the brand itself. Occasionally, celebrities would visit the office and act as if they owned the place, touching the computers, behaving unprofessionally, and being obnoxious in our workspace. The brand lacks professionalism and tries too hard to be edgy and youth-centric, but it’s failing to create that image.

I hope the internal conditions of the brand improve in the future so that the workers can enjoy their time there. I also hope the owners improve their behavior, as it’s not benefiting them in any way. Nevertheless, the employees who work there are genuinely good people, and I’m especially thankful to the head graphic designer who taught me so much.

9 Women Who Became Prominent Figures in the Ottoman Empire

Modern-day Turkey has a long history and was ruled by the Ottoman Empire known as Osmanli Devleti in the local language. The Ottoman Empire is also the longest-running empire in history. It was established in 1299 AD by Osman Ghazi, son of Ertugrul Ghazi, who is considered as the founder of the empire. The throne then passed on and on, but it was only men who had power. You can watch shows like “Dirilis: Ertugrul” and “Kurulus: Osman” on Netflix if you want to learn about them.

The entire map of the empire changed when the reign of Sultan Suleiman, also known as Suleiman the Magnificent, started. Credited for extending the empire, he is also regarded as one of the best Sultan of the empire, and his legacy still continues.

Changes started to happen in his era, when for the first time in Ottoman history, he married Hurrem Sultan and was the first ever Sultan to legally marry someone. During those days, Christian girls used to be kidnapped from parts of Europe like Greece, Italy, Ukraine, Poland, etc, and used to be kept in the harem of the Ottoman palace.

The concubine who gives birth to a son or prince, known as Shehzada, is given the highest rank of a woman after the Valide Sultan (Queen Mother). But to get that position, she had to convert herself into Islam and change her name. The first Valide Sultan was Ayse Hafsa Sultan, who was the mother of Sultan Suleiman.

After the arrival of Hurrem, the Sultanate of Women started and the Empire gained more power during this era. The era started in 1533 and ended in 1656.

Today, we are going to read about the women who became Sultanas and changed the face of the Ottoman Empire. Let us start the list:

1. Hurrem Sultan:

Born in Ruthenia, modern-day Ukraine, Rolexana was a woman of beauty and grace. Although her original name has been disputed between Rolexana, Alexandra, and Anastasia. During the Crimean-Nogai slave raids in Eastern Europe, Rolexana was captured by the Ottoman army and was presented in the harem of Sultan Suleiman. At the time, Ayse Hafsa Sultan was the Valide Sultan. She converted to Islam from Orthodox Christianity and changed her name to Hurrem.

Slowly, Hurrem started to rise in power from the concubine position to the official wife of Sultan Suleiman, hence becoming Hurrem Sultan. She gave birth to six children: Sehzade Mehmed, Mihrimah Sultan, Sehzade Abdullah, Selim II, Sehzade Bayezid, and Sehzade Cihangir. However, she lost all her sons one by one except Selim II, who became Sultan after the death of Sultan Suleiman, but Hurren Sultan couldn’t be the Valide Sultan as she died before his coronation.

Hurrem Sultan is regarded as the founder of the Sultanate of Women as she gained some political powers too and was involved in state affairs. Suleiman loved her so dearly that he even composed a poem for her.

2.               Mahidevran Sultan:

Mahidevran was the first concubine of Sultan Suleiman, and bore him his first son, Sehzade Mustafa. Mahidevran and Suleiman loved each other very dearly and she also had a good relationship with Valide Sultan, but after Hurrem arrived, things started to get difficult for her.

Due to the grace of Hurrem, Suleiman started to get attracted to her more than Mahidevran, and at a point, it was also said that she beat Hurrem very badly and damaged her beautiful face. After all this, she was sent to Manisa, a city in Turkey, along with Sehzade Mustafa.

Mahidevran Sultan really tried hard to make Mustafa the new Sultan but failed every time as Hurrem emerged more clever than her. It is also said that she was the one to kill Sehzade Mehmed by giving him smallpox, but then Hurrem played her games and Sehzade Mustafa was executed by his own father, Sultan Suleiman.

As she lost her only son, she lived in poverty in Bursa but was helped by Selim II. She outlived both Hurrem and Suleiman and died at the age of 80-81.

3.               Mihrimah Sultan:

The only daughter of Suleiman and Hurrem was Mihrimah Sultan. Being the only princess in the palace, she was favored a lot and had a lot of power as a Sultana too. She is regarded as the most powerful imperial princess the Ottoman Empire has ever seen.

Growing up in the footsteps of her mother, Mihrimah was sharp-minded like Hurrem from a very young age. She was married to Rustem Pasha, who also served as a Grand Vizier for her father.

Mihrimah Sultan also gained political power and went with her father on a lot of journeys. It is also assumed that she teamed up with Hurrem and made Suleiman kill her half-brother Sehzade Mustafa, but no direct evidence has been found.

The Mihrimah Sultan Mosque in Istanbul was built by her, and she was also like a Valide Sultan to her brother Selim II when he was on the throne.

4.               Nurbanu Sultan:

Born as Cecelia and having a Venetian heritage, she was very beautiful and smart from a very young age and belonged to a well-reputed family. Like Hurrem, she was also kidnapped by the Ottomans and was brought to the palace as a concubine for Selim II. Looking at Hurrem Sultan and how she turned herself from a slave to the most powerful woman in the empire, Cecelia was highly inspired by her.

Later, she converted to Islam, changed her name to Nurbanu, and gave birth to Selim II’s daughter Sah Sultan, and then Ismihan Sultan. Nurbanu only gave birth to one son, Murad III, who went on to become the next Sultan after the death of Selim II.

Nurbanu became the first slave girl to become the Valide Sultan and enjoyed absolute power during her reign. She also directed her son in different political affairs and was allocated 2,000 coins daily. Like Hurrem, she was also the one to legally get married to a Sultan.

5.               Safiye Sultan:

Assumed to be of Albanian origin, Safiye was brought to the palace by Mihrimah Sultan for her nephew and son of Nurbanu, Murad III. She gained a lot of power during her period and even gave birth to many children. When her husband, Murad III died, her son Mehmed III was crowned the new Sultan, thus making her a Valide Sultan.

Like Hurrem, Safiye Sultan was able to gather her own loyal support system and has gone to extreme lengths to get the power. It is also assumed that she hid one of her sons, known as Sehzade Yahya or Iskander so that he didn't get executed by Mehmed III.

Safiye is also known to have a very strong alliance with Elizabeth Tudor, the Queen of England, and has conspired to kill her grandson, Sultan Ahmed I. The story also says that she tried to use her other grandson, Sehzade Mustafa, to become the most powerful woman in the empire.

However, all her plans didn’t work out due to Kosem Sultan, and she was locked up for her crimes. She died during the reign of her great-grandson, Osman II. She is also the only Sultana to live in the Ottoman palace during the reign of seven different sultans: Sultan Suleiman, Sultan Selim II, Sultan Murad III, Sultan Mehmed III, Sultan Ahmed I, Sultan Mustafa I and Sultan Osman II.\

6.               Handan Sultan:

Handan Sultan was the chief consort of Sultan Mehmed III and the Valide Sultan of Ahmed I. She is believed to be of Bosnian origin, and when Mehmed III ascended the throne, she came to Istanbul with him.

Handan got a lot of power as she was the Valide Sultan for Ahmed I, but was constantly in a clash with Safiye Sultan and Halima Sultan. She also acted as a co-regent and gained some political power, and is also credited with making Dervish Mehmed Agha, a loyal pasha to Sultan Ahmed I.

Apart from all that, she was also a very charitable person but died due to a long-term illness.

7.               Halima Sultan:

Halima was also a consort of Mehmed III and the mother of Mustafa I. Due to the practice of fratricide in Ottoman culture, her elder son Sehzade Mahmud was executed by his father, which affected Ahmed I a lot, because of which he promised that he would never kill Mustafa I.

However this decision led to a lot of controversies as it broke the Ottoman traditions, but still Halima feared that Mustafa might be executed. This made her play a lot of games to put Mustafa on the throne and rule as the Valide Sultan.

When Ahmed I was on his tour, Mustafa was made the Sultan for a very short period, and Halima became the Valide Sultan. But after Ahmed arrived back, she lost all her titles.

After the death of Ahmed I, his son Osman II was made the new Sultan, but Halima gathered the support of the Janissaries' army, dethroned Osman from the throne, and killed him. Hence, Mustafa I became the new Sultan, and Halima became the Valide Sultan for the second time.

However, the decision was opposed by Ahmed I’s wife, Kosem Sultan, and soon Mustafa was dethroned. It is said that Kosem killed Halima, but it has not been confirmed.

8.               Kosem Sultan:

Born as Anastasia on an island in Greece, she was brought to the Ottoman harem at a very young age as a concubine to Ahmed I. She soon started to get a lot of attention from the Sultan but then lost her title after another concubine, Mahfiruze gave birth to Ahmed I’s first son, Osman II. Mahfiruze died shortly after, and she took care of Osman II like her own son and also gave birth to five sons: Sehzade Mehmed, Murav IV, Sehzade Kasim, Sehzade Suleyman, and Ibrahim. She also has 4 daughters: Gevherhan Sultan, Fatma Sultan, Ayse Sultan, and Hanzade Sultan. She also abolished the system of killing brothers.

After Anastasia, she was named Mahpeyker and finally was named Kosem Sultan by Ahmed I. She had a very good relationship with Ahmed I until he died, and she had to clash with Safiye Sultan and Halima Sultan to protect her children. She ruled as Valide Sultan for the first time when Osman II sat on the throne, but was killed by the Janissaries army. Osman II also killed his brother Sehzade Mehmed, which was forbidden.

After the death of Osman II, Mustafa I sat on the throne, but when Halima ordered all of Kosem’s sons to be killed, she protected her children, dethroned Mustafa I, and made Murad IV the new Sultan.

During the reign of Murad IV, Kosem couldn’t use much of her power as Valide Sultan, as he was not in favor of that. Like Osman II, Murad IV also conspired to kill Sehzade Kasim and Sehzade Ibrahim, to secure his throne. He killed Kasim, but at the right time, Ibrahim was saved by Kosem Sultan.

Shortly after Murad IV died, Ibrahim I became the new Sultan, hence making Kosem Valide Sultan for the third time. This was the first time when a woman was crowned Valide Sultan three times. But Ibrahim soon grew mad and she couldn’t control him much. With the help of Ibrahim’s wife and her daughter-in-law, Turhan Sultan, she dethroned Ibrahim and placed her grandson on the throne.

It is said that Kosem was betrayed by Turhan Sultan, and in her order, she was murdered. But Kosem is still regarded as the most powerful woman in the Ottoman Empire to date.

9.               Turhan Sultan:

Turhan was brought to the palace from Ukraine as a concubine to Sultan Ibrahim I. She gave birth to only two children: Mehmed IV and Fatma Sultan. Like Kosem, she also had power as the mother of the prince and teamed up with Kosem to dethrone her husband Ibrahim and make Mehmed IV the new Sultan. Hence, they succeeded, but Kosem was soon murdered after that.

Turhan ruled as a Valide Sultan to Mehmed IV and gained a lot of power. She was also a part of conferences as Mehmed IV was too young at that time.

Her influence in the empire grew stronger day by day and her regency also marred the war with the Venetians.

Turhan Sultan died in 1683 and was considered the last greatest woman in Ottoman history. Hence, her death ended the 133-year-old Sultanate of Women.

During this period, the Ottoman Empire flourished a lot, and a lot of improvements took place. All of these women are still remembered today and if you wanna know more about them, there are also different books, shows, and movies about them.

The book, Empress of the East, is about Hurrem Sultan. There is a Turkish drama called “Muhtesem Yuzyil” (translated as The Magnificent Century), that tells the story of Hurrem Sultan and Sultan Suleiman. Also, there is the storyline for Mahidevran Sultan, Mihrimah Sultan, and Nurbanu Sultan. The show has 4 seasons and 139 episodes. Actresses Meryem Uzerli and Vahide Percin play the character of Hurrem Sultan, while Nur Fettahoglu plays Mahidevran Sultan, Pelin Karahan plays Mihrimah Sultan and Merve Bolugur plays Nurbanu Sultan in the show.

Another show is the spin-off series of Muhtesem Yuzyil and is called “Muhtesem Yuzyil: Kosem” (translated as The Magnificent Century: Kosem). This show highlights the life of Kosem Sultan. Also, the show shows the storyline of Safiye Sultan, Handan Sultan, Halima Sultan, and Turhan Sultan, but not much of Turhan is shown in the show as it mostly focuses only on Kosem Sultan. The character of Kosem Sultan is played by three actresses: Anastasia Tsilimpiou, Beren Saat, and Nurgul Yesilcay. Other Sultanas like Safiye Sultan are played by Hulya Avsar, Handan Sultan is played by Tulin Ozen, Halima Sultan is played by Aslihan Gurbuz and Turhan Sultan is played by Hande Doğandemir. The show has two seasons and 60 episodes.

It was really a magnificent century for the Ottoman Empire when all these women made a mark for themselves.

Do let us know what you think about the Sultanate of Women and which Sultana you think was the most powerful one?