I attended the wedding of the man I love

A few months back, I was late for the class. So, I decided to sit in a small local tea shop and ordered a cup of coffee and some cookies. As I was scrolling through YouTube, I ran across a video titled "I attended the wedding of a man I loved" by Anna Akana. I watched it and it was so beautiful. I somehow got inspired by that poetry so I decided to write my version of it. I took out my notebook and my pen and started to write down the draft. After a lot of thinking and corrections, here is the final poem. 

I attended the wedding of the man I love, not as his spouse but as his best man
I dressed up in a black tuxedo and he dressed up in a white one
I stood next to him as he exchanged the rings with his wife
And while he was taking his vows, I imagined that it was for me

Everyone clapped and I came back to reality and clapped along
They popped a bottle of champagne and all I could think of was the bottles of beer we had popped together
We were never lovers to say the most but I loved him and he loved me as a friend
I was never his preferred sexual orientation but he was mine

He came to me and all I could see in his eyes were the happiness and the love for his new wife
I hugged him, rubbed his back, and whispered in his right ear, "I am so happy for you"
And then I told his wife, "You are one lucky woman because no one can love you like he can"
He laughed and said, "I am eagerly waiting for your turn"

Neither could I relate to any love songs that the band was playing
Nor could I not realize how beautiful they looked with each other
In the past, whenever I heard those songs, all I could ever think of was him
But now at that moment, my world was just gray under the yellow lights

I was getting suffocated inside the crowded hall, so I went out and sat on the stairs
I took out a stick of cigarette as the cold wind hit my cheeks
All I could think of was all the nights we spent together with cigarettes and alcohol
And as the ceremony began to get even more vivid, I became still like Elio staring at the fireplace while the whole world kept going on behind my back

***

So basically I am in love with someone and that someone happened to be a man. He is someone I know very closely and I almost see him every day. Honestly speaking, I had no idea that I would be this crazy for him, but it happened. I was quite amused and surprised by how quickly I fell head-over-heels for him and I have given him a lot of hints that I really like him, but I guess he is not very good at picking the Easter eggs. Also, I have no expectations that he will love me back because of the fact that he is straight lol. So, this poem is just an imagination of me attending his wedding, and expressing how I will feel if this happens someday for real.